Geordie Shore Season 2 Episode 5 - Gender Roles in Geordie Shore

Hey, at least it's nearly over now!

It starts with Ricci, Vicky, Gary and Charlotte coming home, Newcastle. Ricci and Vicky find James in their room "Dunno why, he has a bit of a banker going on" Gary muses "Then again, it was Holly" Ricci then says that he banged Vicki. Everyone else says stuff that is far stupider. "It's what couples do" is Vicki's reaction, even though he isn't her boyfriend, some other dude is. "Vicki went on Ricci's sticky!" Charlotte exclaims. "I'd rather shit on my hands and clap then watch them two bang" Rebecca says, starting this episode strongly for a change

After spending the past few episodes doing his best to avoid her, Sophie keeps trying to call her boyfriend. He's been ignoring her calls for days now. I'm sorry, but this is kinda funny. She finally gets through, and he agrees to come to Newcastle on the third time of asking. What a hero. That night, Vicki says she has to go see Dan. Charlotte starts screaming "God!" and Sophie ust mutters "For fucks sake!" Hey, at least everyone else is as fed up with this shit as I am

So Vicki goes to a bar, and her boyfriend doesn't turn up. He has no idea she's cheating, he just completely no shows. She goes home and cries about it, despite this being EXACTLY WHAT SHE WANTS. Sophie is getting ready to meet her boyfriend and FUCK WHAT IS GOING ON GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE YOU TWO.

Sophie's boyfriend turns up, topless. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's a Lodnon thing? "If my boyfriend walked into my house like that I'd think 'You twat'" says Rebecca. Why did she have to wait until episode fucking 5 to be cool? "It just seems fucking stupid" Jay rightfully points out. "What the fuck are you doing, mate?" James asks rhetorically. "He may look good and put a bit of spray tan on but this is never acceptable. Wanker" Vicki says. They all have a point, really

Everyone goes out, except Vicki and Ricci. Vicki because she's feeling bad about being stood up by her boyfriend, Ricci because "Why would I want to go out pulling birds when I have the best looking girl in Newcastle with me right here?" Sophie's boyfriend spends the night with the lads, which Sophie isn't too thrilled about. They argue, she starts crying. Charlotte also throws a tantrum because Gary, get this, is hitting on women! HE NEVER DOES THAT! She also admits she has feelings for him. Well, we knew that since season 1 but at least she's admitting them now

Gary comes in and says that he's going to just blank her from now on because he's just sick of this happening again and again. Sophie's boyfriend gets into the hot tub and just complains about Sophie. She then walks right past him and into the fuck hut to sleep. Next morning, it's Vicki's birthday! Ricci gets her a giant teddy bear "A bit sweet, but I'm not five" comments Vicki. The guys go to the gym and slag off Sophie's boyfriend for being a twat. Not the gym in the house though, they go to a real gym. WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT GYM!?

Vicki's family turns up at the house with loads of presents, which I should have taken a picture of but I didn't. "I spent a wedge on Vicki for her birthday, but if you want that gash you got to spend the cash" says Ricci. A giant teddy bear and a little cake costs a lot of money? I suppose it is a reccession. Back at the house, Vicki gets a huge amount of flowers. Like, an assload of flowers. Alright Ricci, you win this round

Their boss calls and gets Ricci Charlotte Holly and Gary to hand out flyers. Charlotte decides she wants to be homeless instead. Ricci is then cooking a meal for Vicki, which nobody seems to be too thrilled with. "What the fuck is he playing at?" asks James and Charlotte says "He may as well have a vagina". Geordie Shore - reinforcing gender roles since fucking forever

"Ricci's put a lot of effort into my birthday, and I really appreciate it" says Vicky "But that doesn't mean he's getting a bang" Yes, the two of them go to the fuck hut to not have sex. Ricci thinks he's entitled to it after all the work he put in, she isn't giving it up. Honestly, Vicky should be praised for this - sex isn't something you give out as a reward for good behaviour

Sophie gets his boyfriend back up again "I'm not doing this on the phone, I have to do it to his face" says Sophie. Jesus lady, you make him sit on a fucking train for 3 hours just to get dumped by you and then spend another 3 hours back to London? That's fucking cold. She gets home and feeling down, so everyone throws her a house party. When everyone is getting ready Vicky's birthday presents from her boyfriend turn up. A day late. She starts crying, but opens them up. They are a pair of shoes and matching bag. "If you're getting that then why the fuck are you with Ricci, who gives flowers and a shit teddy?" asks Sophie. I don't think you can really give out relationship advice here

Ricci comes in and starts sulking, which is a great way to start a house party. Their boss shows up, with two half naked people. Yes, it's what the guys had to do in season 1 where they catered to parties. Except one of them is a woman, and the woman is the "worldy" that James has been banging lately. How? Charlotte starts hitting on one of Ricci's friends, which Gary is happy with "If she bangs it, it'll be the first step towards us being friends again" Vicky and Ricci and talking, except he's still sulking like a child. They argue, but then they get drunk. He asks her out, she says yes. Awww, a happy ending

Charlotte kisses Ricci's friend and is very happy about it...I think? "I feel like Geprge Bush! What's the girl version of George Bush?....Margaret Thatcher!" she exclaims. I honestly have no fucking clue what the fuck she is on about, although that's par for the course at this point. James gets the girl back to his room again, although Ricci keeps walking in on them every few minutes, because he's a twat. Everyone then starts slagging him off because he's been a twat to everyone all night

Gary then throws a bottle of water off Ricci's face because he's sick of him. Or maybe Ricci throws it off Gary's face. The camera is too far away to really tell, but they do start fighting. The episode then ends. Next week is the last one! I may even be bothered to take screenshots!