Paul Hardy: Is that Dustin Diamond on the left?
Daniel Hopper: Whoever he is he's waaaaaaay too smug looking for a guy wearing
chainmail.
Daniel Hopper: The guy on the right has one of those problem faces. Like as if
his face is going through foundation issues and sinking into his neck. I had
those once. I hope he's got a big stockpile of money hidden away 'cause face
foundations are important and the guys who fix them are well aware of that
fact.
Paul Hardy: The guy in the middle is LARP dad. He liks AFI and tries to hang
with his kids who think he's a huge dork, so he goes away on the second sunday
of every month to hang with the real cool kids
Daniel Hopper: FUCK YOU LARP DAD! I PEREFER MOM'S NEW BOYFRIEND DnD DAD MORE
THAN YOU!
Paul Hardy: DnD DAD ALSO WEARS CHAINMAIL BUT HE LETS ME SMOKE WHEN MOM IS OUT!
Paul Hardy: Is the dude in the middle wearing a shiny glove? Is he LARPing for
the memory of Michael Jackson?
Daniel Hopper: Alas ser Jackson of Michael I shall slay the demon and avenge
ye but first i must pick up mine spawn and their bastard step sister who's
burgeoning sexuality scares me.
Daniel Hopper: Honestly, I think it might just be his amazingly white skin
Paul Hardy: Actually, the middle guys glove looks more like a prosthetic now
Daniel Hopper: Yeah I dont think he's wearing a glove
Daniel Hopper: The advanced LARPer knows that gloves doth loosen ones grip
upon a challace of THE DEW
Paul Hardy: He has a ring on his middle finger OH MY GOD ITS THE GOATMAN
Daniel Hopper: This is the saddest photo I've ever seen. I bet the
photographer was so haunted by what he saw and the fact that he did nothing to
stop it that he commited suicide like the guy who photographed that starving
african child being watched by a vulture
Daniel Hopper: The Larp went well but alas, Larp Dad and his squire were
felled, making fat Ron Pearlman's victory bittersweet
Daniel Hopper: JESUS CHRIST LARP DAD TAKE YOUR NU-METAL EAR PLUGS OUT YOU'RE
BREAKING CHARACTER!
Paul Hardy: Uhhh, LARP Dad is clearly an elf and they gain a bonus to their
hearing, which is represented by the ear plugs. Read the rule book, idiot
Paul Hardy: Honestly, I never saw the appeal of those ear plugs and I don't
think I ever will
Daniel Hopper: That's easy to say in hindsight but looking back I dont
understand the appeal of Limp Bizkit and yet there's a copy of chocolate
starfish tucked away somewhere in the garage
Daniel Hopper: I admire LARP dads commitment. When I think I look like a prick
I change what I'm wearing, but not him. He stands by his convictions
Paul Hardy: You say that but I don't think you've ever worn a cloak. The cloak
takes things to a whole new level
Daniel Hopper: It gives him +4 to sexhaving resistance
Daniel Hopper: I wish I knew what was going on here. I mean it probably is a
LARP but we'll never know for sure
Paul Hardy: There's something off about the guy on the right. Either he's been
photoshopped in or he is a ghost
Daniel Hopper: Yeah, he doesnt belong there. It looks like he's been spliced
in to cover up someone else, like one of the doctered Soviet photos
Paul Hardy: A guy dressed up as a dwarf except he came in black face because
"Dwarves are the blacks of LARP! Right guys!?" and everyone was embarrassed so
fat guy here gets photoshopped in
Daniel Hopper: Ghost dude shows up and thinks he's haunting the past
Daniel Hopper: James used to be in the photo but he didn't have any time for
larping after he met Debbie
Daniel Hopper: LARP dad looks like the type of guy who'd feel his friends not
showing up at every renfair style event he hosts is the deepest of betrayals
and then photoshop them out of his life
Paul Hardy: Just like my ex wife THAT BITCH taking away my kids. I tried
talking to the druids to cast a curse on her but they refused. God I miss my
kids
Daniel Hopper: DRUIDS DONT CAST CURSES YOU DWEEB! HE'D WANT TO SPEAK TO A
PRACTIONER OF BLOOD MAGIC NOT A FUCKING DRUID CHRIST!
Paul Hardy: Trap sprung you fucking nerd! How about you thow yourself into the
locker to save me the effort?
Daniel Hopper: fffffffffffffffffffUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
Daniel Hopper: Welcome to prison
Paul Hardy: I'd ask why he has the kool aid guy tattooed below his belly
button but I feel like I should know why already
Daniel Hopper: Yeah that's right i want two iron crosses at the top of my
chest (in this day and age, really?) and the cool aid guy down on the cusp of
my genital region
Daniel Hopper: This guy is like 46 and clearly proud of his tatoos.
Conclusion; he is a racist manchild
Paul Hardy: Does that say OJ dead? I get that he's racist but if anyone else
is also going to kill their wife its going to be this guy
Daniel Hopper: You think this is a file photo released by the police?
Daniel Hopper: If I'm not mistaken he's got two cartons of kreatine 'buff up'
weight training powder on his desk there. No weight lifting equipment in sight
Paul Hardy: You want to know what is probably the worst thing about this?
Daniel Hopper: All of it?
Paul Hardy: I have an even worse tattoo picture right here
Daniel Hopper: No. Why would you do this?
Daniel Hopper: You sure that isnt some sort of rub on tween transfer tattoo?
Paul Hardy: Why would anyone put a rub on transfer tattoo on the back of their
neck?
Daniel Hopper: Why would anyone tattoo that on the back of their neck?
Paul Hardy: Because people who like Harry Potter are 1) children willing to do
stupid things and 2) manchildren completely obsessed with books aimed at
children
Daniel Hopper: That's not fair, most Harry Potter fans are probably normal
people, but the ones who take it too far are crazy
Paul Hardy: You only ever see the crazy ones since most normal Harry Potter
fans have enough shame to not bring the topic up
Daniel Hopper: Do you think they got the HP done first and then added the
writing after too many people kept confusing it with the brand of brown sauce?
Paul Hardy: They were sick of people saying "HP? Oh yeah, like Final Fantasy
and shit?" URGH NO IT IS HARRY POTTER GOD FUCK YOU LARP DAD YOU KNOW NOTHING
ABOUT ME AAAAAAAAARGH
Daniel Hopper: Well done on making LARP dad a sympathetic character
Paul Hardy: I took this picture. Seconds later that guy was dead. You're
welcome
Daniel Hopper: Man see's goatse for the first time
Daniel Hopper: I got this photo from a post your pic thread so not only does
it exist but it is a photo a person wants associated with him
Daniel Hopper: This could only have been taken at a nerdcore event of some
sort
Paul Hardy: It looks like he has no face, just one really large neck
Daniel Hopper: He looks like Beaker from the Muppets, if Beaker smoked a
shitload of weed
Paul Hardy: And also if I hated Beaker
Daniel Hopper: It's the wanting people to see this photo thing I dont
understand. Lord knows I take a terrible photograph but I don't post them all
on the internet and shout "Look at me!"
Paul Hardy: Maybe he wanted to skip the getting to know him part and get
straight to everyone hating him?
Paul Hardy: I like how he's clearly at this event by himself, but everyone has
grouped up without him so hes left wandering by himself
Daniel Hopper: He took the photo himself by just dropping his camera to the
floor
Paul Hardy: He went to the event by himself just to take this picture to prove
to the internet he went outside
Daniel Hopper: Enough, I dont want to look at him anymore
Daniel Hopper: The guy on the left isnt as into it as the other two. Actually,
neither's the guy on the right
Daniel Hopper: You got a problem with this picture? This picture right here is
an oasis of style, elegance and fashion. Everything about it owns but the bird
is fantastic. You could say the bird is the 'coop' de grace HAHAHAHA
Paul Hardy: It was on the first page of google image search for "steampunk"
Daniel Hopper: Nah this aint steampunk, this is some chill dudes having a good
time
Paul Hardy: I literally searched for steampunk and I got this. The file is
called steampunkwhatevernumber and theres a whole gallery of steampunk with
these dudes
Daniel Hopper: Oh man link me to that shit. You know I need steampunk pics to
help me feel better about myself and combat my cripplingly low self esteem
Paul Hardy: No my friend. I'm sorry but I tricked you with this picture. This
is an intervention
Daniel Hopper: Fuck, not again
Paul Hardy: I know you hate white people. I do too, but you hate white people
so much that every black person is cool in comparison. I'm sorry, but it does
not work this way. These dapper gents are steampunkers. You need to accept
this
Daniel Hopper: Whatever, maybe thats so but this is steampunk I can get behind
Paul Hardy: You will never find steampunk like this outside of this photo.
Except maybe in the other ones I found of these 3 walking around New York
wearing these exact clothes
Daniel Hopper: Awwww I know what this is cosplay of. It's the crossdressing
section of FF7
Paul Hardy: Correct
Daniel Hopper: Fuck my fucking life
Daniel Hopper: Look at the dudes arms man, this guy is clearly too buff to
cosplay Cloud
Paul Hardy: The thing about this is I have another picture of this guy in a
different costume and...well...I'll show you
Paul Hardy: I'll give you a clue - he isnt the fat black Boss and he isnt the
singer from Gogol Bordello either
Daniel Hopper: WE AREN'T DOING THIS TO LOOK AT PEOPLE WHO ARE MORE BUFF THAN
WE ARE, IF I WANTED THAT I'D LOOK AT LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD
Daniel Hopper: Holy shit, that dude is just amazingly buff. Good for him
Paul Hardy: The dude is buff as heck and he dresses up in drag as a Final
Fantasy character and also as Liquid Snake. Most people cosplay because they
arent buff as fuck, he is and still does it. He's like Blade, he walks both
sides of the world
Daniel Hopper: HE'S GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT! He looked in the mirror one
morning and realised that he could be the buffest dude in cosplay. I salute
him and his washboard abs
Daniel Hopper: I feel bad for skinny Snake, although to be fair, that's some
pretty good cosplay of a nes sprite
Paul Hardy: Really, I just wanted to make fun of the fat Boss in the middle
Daniel Hopper: The Biggest Boss
Paul Hardy: "Paramedic, is it ok if I eat all the chocolate?" "No Snake, you
need to keep your strength up in the jungle" "....Uh oh"
Daniel Hopper: "Paramedic I think I'm about to fall into a hypoglycemic state
what should I do?" "For fucks sake, Snake"
Paul Hardy: "Quick paramedic, I forgot to bring my insulin over the Russian
border!"
Daniel Hopper: Look at us, acting like he would ask Paramedic if food is safe
to eat
Paul Hardy: "Snake, you need to stop Big Boss" "No colonol, not until I finish
dubbing this weeks Naruto!"
Paul Hardy: I dont want to make fun of him too much though, in case Buff
Liquid comes to find us
Daniel Hopper: I do not wanna fuck with Buff Liquid
Daniel Hopper: "OI YOU GEEZERS MAKIN FUN OF FAT BOSS! HE'S GOT A THYROID
PROBLEM YOU WANKERS! *murders us with his patented crippler crossface*
Paul Hardy: He was wearing a dress before, so it's believable for him to wear
a bra while he murders us. Although you connecting the dots between buff
Liquid here and Chev Chelios does not make me feel comfortable about my life
expectancy
Daniel Hopper: Why, Liquid was meant to be British
Paul Hardy: I think buff British dude, I think of Chev Chelios. Although thats
not saying much, it's not often where I dont think of chev chelios
Daniel Hopper: I think of Chev Chelios every night before I fall asleep and
every morning when I wake up
Paul Hardy: The best cosplay
Daniel Hopper: Scorpion looks like he's having a fatality performed on him
Paul Hardy: Putting the fat into fatality
Daniel Hopper: Finish Him! *Kano sits back and waits for a massive cardiac
arrest to do its work*
Paul Hardy: Liu Kang throws some bacon off a cliff and watches as Scorpion
barrels over the edge after them
Daniel Hopper: Scorpion rises from a portal from the underworld only to get
stuck halfway. Jonny Cage wins by forefit
Paul Hardy: "Get over here!" Scorpion shouts "Seriously, you have to come
here. I'm too winded to even move anymore"
Daniel Hopper: I'm not comfortable here 'cause I can see a scenario in which
Reptile, Sub Zero and Ermac track us down and beat the shit out of us for
laughing at their friend. I predicted it would happen in a dream last night
Paul Hardy: Buff Liquid and the 3 Mortal Kombat ninjas camping outside my
house, waiting for me to leave
Daniel Hopper: Jokes on them, then
Paul Hardy: Cosplay - where everyone is either too fat or too thin to really
be anyone
Daniel Hopper: YOU KIDS GET BACK HERE YOU AREN'T GOING OUT DRESSED LIKE THAT!
Paul Hardy: I think all of these are women
Daniel Hopper: Yeah, I was playing guess the gender too. It's hard when you've
only heard stories about what women look like :(
Paul Hardy: Just like Cloud from FF7 I'm really not sure of the gender though
Daniel Hopper: Yeah, I mean the hair is shit but all in all that's basically
Cloud irl. Vincent is spot on too. I dunno who the other two are, but the one
on the right needs to buy an iron though, Jesus Christ!
Paul Hardy: I think the one on the right is meant to be Sheena from Tales of
Symphonia
Daniel Hopper: To be fair to these people, it's not entierly their fault.
Anime characters do not work in the real world. Least not until the anime
singularity occurs
Paul Hardy: I get that waiting for the anime reality to begin is difficult,
but come on guys!
Paul Hardy: You know, its my dream to go to one of these conventions. If the
women are willing to do things like this, then at least one of them will have
such low self esteem to sleep with me
Daniel Hopper: Slow down there Assange! That's sexually agressive and I dont
like where this is heading
Paul Hardy: You arent a lawyer, no matter what you tell strangers!
Daniel Hopper: I don't want to prosecute you, I'm just not in the mood for
another of your sexually agressive stories. For future reference, that's
basically my default mood
Paul Hardy: Every story is sexually agressive when you are an asexual eunuch
Daniel Hopper: Back to your earlier point, I'd like to go to one of these
things too. I'd like to be the most confident person in a room for once in my
life. Although dressing up like that takes a lot of confidence. Scratch that,
I want to be the most mentally stable person in a room for once in my life
Daniel Hopper: HOWDY INTERNET
Daniel Hopper: I hope this picture finds it's way into the email account of
anybody considering this man as a viable candidate for employment
Paul Hardy: People who take pictures like these are the worst. They have to
show what wacky and random people they are to everyone, or else how will
people know they are funny!?
Daniel Hopper: I like the photo behind him in which the people are so
disgusted by what he's doing they cant watch
Paul Hardy: I just took a picture of me with a dildo on my head! Oh ho ho,
what wont I do!?
Paul Hardy: Have a girlfriend, for a start
Paul Hardy: Shave
Paul Hardy: See me driving towards at him at speeds well over the legal limit
Paul Hardy: Make his parents proud of him
Daniel Hopper: Not use that dildo on himself
Paul Hardy: Ask non white people directions if he ever gets lost
Paul Hardy: Think video games are higher art
Paul Hardy: Rape a woman, but if a woman gets raped then she probably deserved
it
Daniel Hopper: I SAID NONE OF YOUR SEXUALLY AGRESSIVE VIEWS!
Daniel Hopper: I look at this photo and all i want to do is shave
Paul Hardy: If I had to guess, you got this from the xkcd forums
Daniel Hopper: Nah, the ctrl alt del forums
Daniel Hopper: You'd be surprised how many ctrl alt del fans are in the army
or dress up as if they were in the army
Paul Hardy: Are you saying that people in the army are stupid manchildren too
afraid of missing a joke so they gather around places where the joke is
explained to them before the joke has been made?
Daniel Hopper: If the joke is murdering civillians
Paul Hardy: The joke is never murdering civilians, but in the army the
punchline usually is
Daniel Hopper: Look at it this way. CaD is: anti-women, homophobic, needlesly
violent, cautious not to treat black people with too much respect, not as
funny as it thinks it is. Thats the army bro
Paul Hardy: I really cant argue with that
Daniel Hopper: The saddest nerd
Daniel Hopper: E3.jpeg
Daniel Hopper: jorts.jpeg
Daniel Hopper: busy_day_at_the_bitcoin_bank.jpeg
Paul Hardy: I can sense this guys story just from looking at him. His moms
house burned down when the computers in the basement he was using to mine for
bitcoins over heated
Daniel Hopper: Nah, he carried a printer all the way to this girls house and
she wouldn't sleep with him as a reward
Paul Hardy: I can see why they want to be known as anonymous now
Daniel Hopper: I would disown a child for lesser sins than what this guy is
wearing
Paul Hardy: Imagine the pit stains this guy will be rocking
Daniel Hopper: This dude is the reason people hate the West
Daniel Hopper: Devestated, Ian looks on as angry protestors overturn a hotdog
stand.
Paul Hardy: "War" he is quoted as saying afterwards "War never changes"
Daniel Hopper: Homeless people mug him for his shirt which they use as a
shelter
Paul Hardy: A family of rats vacate this guys jorts, saying they dont live up
to their lofty standards of living
Daniel Hopper: I wonder what he's so sad about. Seriously, something has hit
this guy pretty hard
Paul Hardy: Maybe LARP dad has disowned him?
Daniel Hopper: That bastard!
Daniel Hopper: "LARP dad caught me playing DnD 4th edition, can I come stay
with you for a few days?"
Paul Hardy: "Jokes on him, I had to use his cloak as toilet paper since the
usual stuff wasn't big enough"
Daniel Hopper: I'm gonna print this out and put it next to a picture of people
starving in Africa and make mad money on the modern art scene
Paul Hardy: Photoshop this guy looking at the starving African child instead
of the vulture
Daniel Hopper: Get ready to dive into a Scrooge McDuck style money pit!
Paul Hardy: Just so long as it is all bitcoins
Daniel Hopper: He just got off the phone. Steve was able to download the
latest Naruto but he could only find dubs. BAKA!
Daniel Hopper: This dude just got done fucking his cat
Paul Hardy: Jesus man, you could have given me a heads up here
Daniel Hopper: I love Star Wars as much as the next guy, but episode I
bedsheets?! C'mon dude!
Paul Hardy: Everything about this picture is wrong. It's the anti goatse
Daniel Hopper: His cat looks remorseful
Paul Hardy: You want to see remorseful? I'll post a picture of me looking at
this picture
Daniel Hopper: It has given me an idea for a tumbler though; twinks with cats.
Daniel Hopper: I know that there's a lot to work with here and that this photo
could be really funny but I can't. I just can't muster up the strength to mock
it. It has sapped my will to live
Paul Hardy: I know exactly what you mean. This is just grody man, can we just
stop?
Daniel Hopper: Please
Paul Hardy: I'd rather risk having some other people try to kill us than look
at this dude any more
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