NNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEERRRRRRRDDDDDDDSSSSS

Daniel Hopper: The saddest senior prom photo ever

Paul Hardy: Is the guy up front taking a dump on the robot?

Daniel Hopper: That's his mad dog face

Goel Joelby: I want these guys to make a hip-hop album

Daniel Hopper: You sure about that? 'Cause there's a good chance they already make nerdcore

Daniel Hopper: DJ Fatty Black Slacks and the Cardboard Robots present Bitcoins Ain't Easy

Paul Hardy: I dont think its possible to make nerdcore out of Warhammer. It's something too dorky to even put into rhyme

Daniel Hopper: I can see some shitty metal coming from Warhammer though

Goel Joelby: I bet this was just one heady summer for these guys "Hey guys before we all go to seperate colleges let's have one last big BLOW OUT!"

Daniel Hopper: I want a slow paced monologue detailing what happened to each of these guys after that amazing summer

Goel Joelby: They've all still got crumpled cardboard shoulder pads at the backs of their wardrobes and hold them all nostalgically and go "those were the good times"

Goel Joelby: The unemotive guy on the far right, with the toy-shop foam sword? This is literally the best moment of his life

Daniel Hopper: I think he might have killed himself in the first month of college

Goel Joelby: The guy shooting red licorice out of his fist dresses like that every day, it's just only his Mum ever sees him

Daniel Hopper: It's a miracle there's that much licorice left to be honest

Paul Hardy: The guy on the left clearly didnt want to do this and the other two dragged him along

Daniel Hopper: He has the smug look of a guy who has just farted into the airhole on that big cardboard robot costume

Goel Joelby: Do you think there's someone in the robot?

Daniel Hopper: "Guys no it's my baptism today and I... fine pass me some pads"

Daniel Hopper: It's hard to imagine four of these guys but welp, there you have it

Goel Joelby: I think the robot either has a human man in it or is stuffed with fatty's walkin' snacks "HOLD ON MOM DON'T TAKE THE PICTURE JUST YET lemme get some Cheeto's from back here"

Daniel Hopper: The orcs are coming, Commander... Commander?! *looks across to see the fat dude shoving wotsists into his mouth*

Goel Joelby: I'm not saying the kid's fat but he looks like he's eaten some 20-sided die in his time

Paul Hardy: It looks like he eats 20 sided everything

Daniel Hopper: He looks like he eats 20 of everything

Daniel Hopper: The blonde dude really took this costume task to heart didn't he.

Goel Joelby: The blonde dude went right home to compose an e-mail to his Internet girlfriend. SUBJ: The best day EVER

Paul Hardy: I think the blonde dude went to the hopital since he looks like he's having a stroke

Daniel Hopper: NO... DON'T CALL... AMBULAN...CE PHOTO FIRST... MOM

Goel Joelby: The thing is they all look so sheepish. Like, they had to waddle out into a bit of grass by a carpark in the middle of the day to get this shot.

Goel Joelby: I want to know What happened right afterwards, besides a catastrophic stroke. Did they take the bus home? There's so many unanswered questions

Daniel Hopper: Just imagine these dudes waiting for the bus. You're sat trying to read a book after a shitty day and the robot keeps tripping into you

Goel Joelby: Buses just driving past "Why won't they stop?" *rolls dice* All shouting after the bus "HIT DAMAGE +5 YOU CAN'T MOVE!"

Daniel Hopper: Imagine these guys silently watching as their tin of baked beans heats up. Warhammer event over, they have nothing to discuss




Daniel Hopper: america.jpeg

Paul Hardy: The way the guy in the cowboy hat looks at me I think he's going to try and sell me a used car

Daniel Hopper: "Honey get yer confederate flag on we gonna go burn a cross on in front o' that there black family"

Goel Joelby: He looks like he makes the flag bird pose for some super unseemly photographs, but then I cannot gauge how old these people are. They are too broken to have real age

Daniel Hopper: This photo could be used in the revelatory scene in a horror movie about a racist haunted house

Goel Joelby: This photo looks like the Presential initiation ceremony the year after the apocolypse

Paul Hardy: I really want the fat guy to take his jacket off and show us some trick shots

Goel Joelby: I bet the fat guy takes his top off at any opportunity, or has like tear-off sleeves because he can't stand not to have his guns out for more than half an hour

Daniel Hopper: Everyone in this photo is carrying an actual real gun

Goel Joelby: Everyone in this photo has had intercourse with an animal

Paul Hardy: Everyone in this photo has saw a black person in public and grimaced at the very sight

Daniel Hopper: This right here, is the OG tea party

Daniel Hopper: "Shucks Mr Beck, the wife an' I'd be real honoured if you'd come to one of our tea parties" *cut to scene of skeletons dressed like these guys sitting around a tea pot waiting*

Paul Hardy: I wonder how many times the phrase "Don't mess with Texas" has been said between the four of them

Goel Joelby: I would like to see a fight between the people in this photo and the last photo. Obviously it would be over super fast because all the nerds would get shot, but I think fatty would still have time to rip the top half of his clothes off

Daniel Hopper: They're stiched up like stripper clothes

Goel Joelby: The whole suit is a velcro'd one-piece

Daniel Hopper: He just tugs at that amazingly shiny waistcoat and the whole top half falls away

Goel Joelby: Confederate underpants on underneath and nothing else, maybe a belly tattoo that reads like 'SOUTH LYFE'

Daniel Hopper: Pretty sure he shouts 'don't mess with Texas' before ripping off his clothes and shooting toy guns into the air, grinding away in a sexually agressive manner

Daniel Hopper: 'Steve no, not tonight I have work in the morning.' 'Dont mess with texas baby.'

Goel Joelby: STEVE YOU'RE MY BROTHER "Don't mess with Texas, girl"

Paul Hardy: The fat guy looks unhappy - how much are you willing to bet that its because the girl next to him decided to wear "negro colours" to the photo?

Goel Joelby: The girl in black seems to be genuinely smiling while the blonde is sort of hollow and defeated

Goel Joelby: Maybe it is like the worst blind date in the world? She's going to get mess'd with Texas later, make no mistake

Daniel Hopper: 'I can't believe I put on my best dress for this car salesmen loser'

Goel Joelby: "Come on girl let's get in the SEX WAGON" *slowly hoists open door to a barn*

Daniel Hopper: 'It aint incest ifen yer a willin'




Daniel Hopper: WE AGREED TO NEVER USE PHTOS OF ONE ANOTHER!

Goel Joelby: Guys you are more worldly in the way of nerds than me so, answer me this: that guy fucks that pillow, right?

Paul Hardy: Probably, yes

Daniel Hopper: He sure does

Goel Joelby: Do other dudes have love pillows? Do they buy them seats on aeroplanes and go to conventions?

Daniel Hopper: Do you have to buy your love pillow a seat? I mean it's just a pillow so I'd imagine you can just carry it on, right?

Goel Joelby: Mad respect for vogueing with a pillow though. That's gonna make one hell of a Facebook profile picture

Goel Joelby: You just know he set up a Facebook profile for his pillow so he could click 'In A Relationship With...'

Daniel Hopper: chester Bennington and his obnoxious shirt

Paul Hardy: It looks like he found the worlds ugliest carpet to make his shirt

Daniel Hopper: It's like the type of shirt my dad would buy to wear to my wedding

Goel Joelby: "UH EXCUSE ME my companion ordered the FISH"

Daniel Hopper: SHE CAN'T EAT NUTS I TOLD YOU SHE'S ALLERGIC OH GOD KIMIKO-SAN SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!

Daniel Hopper: The woman in yellow knows that dude fucks his pillow and is disgusted. The woman in green does not know this but is just as irritated.

Goel Joelby: Is this guy on holiday, here? ME AND KIMIKO-SAN PRAGUE 2011

Daniel Hopper: You think he's on holiday with his parents? Or did he pester a tourist into taking this photo for him

Goel Joelby: Only one. Nobody who fucks a pillow has two parents

Paul Hardy: Yeah, his parents are clearly divorced

Daniel Hopper: No, I think one of them died

Goel Joelby: Naw his Dad killed himself when the kid was young

Paul Hardy: His dad couldnt bear to sit around watching his son make moves on a pillow

Goel Joelby: "I REFUSE TO LIVE ON THIS GAY EARTH WITH A PILLOW FUCKER FOR A SON"

Daniel Hopper: Son, why couldn't you have been gay?

Paul Hardy: Why couldnt you hang out with the two guys and the girl with the confederate flag dress!?

Daniel Hopper: I think it's cool that society has progressed so far that people now have to do genuinley outlandish things to get disowned from their families

Paul Hardy: I don't think anything about this is cool at all

Goel Joelby: I do not think it is his first pillow. Guy has fucked and broken up with like multiple pillows and his Mum has to sadly wash them, stiff and over-fucked, like once a week

Goel Joelby: On Sunday he gets all antsy because Kimiko-San is on the washing line

Daniel Hopper: His last wifeu blew away on a windy day.... Imoe-chan *single tear*

Paul Hardy: Sakura-chan was attacked by cats and destroyed a year ago today - it was like 9/11 all over again...




Daniel Hopper: Rapist? Murderer? Or both?

Goel Joelby: Man, just a cool guy playing his first game of Warhammer. First warhammer competition. Got his first lanyard. Went home and cut himself

Goel Joelby: I can't rail on this guy because even he looks embarrassed. He's just a fat kid playing a nerd game. He has to wear his dad's t-shirts leave the guy alone

Daniel Hopper: Yeah, his face is all 'yeah I know'.

Goel Joelby: He's just like, 'welp'

Daniel Hopper: He knows that if this photo leaks his high school life wont be worth living

Goel Joelby: He is like 14 and has given up on ever touching a breast, but at least he ain't a pillow fucker

Daniel Hopper: Aw man I'm starting to feel really bad for him. We are kindered spirits, he and I. I hope he won his match

Paul Hardy: I think the kid is innocent in all of this - the person who should be in the chair next to him was went to the toilet, and got his kid brother to sit in so nobody steals his stuff

Goel Joelby: Yeah maybe this guy was like giving his spazz brother a lift to the Warhammer

Daniel Hopper: I love the idea of a lift to the Warhammer

Goel Joelby: Nobody drives themself to the Warhammer

Daniel Hopper: DEREK C'MON WE'RE GONNA BE LATE FOR THE WARHAMMER! IF WE DON'T GET THERE EARLY ALL THE GOOD BATTLES WILL BE TAKEN!

Paul Hardy: Dont you understand? The Warhammer waits for no man!

Daniel Hopper: Warhammer. Warhammer never changes

Paul Hardy: Can you find love on the battlefield? Even if the battlefield is the Warhammer?

Goel Joelby: No.

Daniel Hopper: Nope




Goel Joelby: I take issue with the guy who's screen-name is 'dude'

Daniel Hopper: I know this speaks badly of me but my first reaction was to try and figure out what game they're playing

Goel Joelby: Unreal, right?

Daniel Hopper: I think so.

Daniel Hopper: Dude is the best looking member of the group and he knows it, the smug prick

Goel Joelby: Mailman is having the time of his fucking life

Daniel Hopper: Man I wish I had ever been as happy as Mailman is right there

Paul Hardy: Mailman looks like one of the nerds from Big Bang Theory, so I fucking hate Mailman

Goel Joelby: The fact that Dude is spending his Friday night with Mailman automatically invalidates his claim to Dudeism

Paul Hardy: Imagine how much better the Big Lebowski would be if he was the Dude. "They pissed on your clan, Dude" "They pissed on my clan!" "Pissed on your fucking clan, Dude!"

Daniel Hopper: Dude just looks at the camera with the same 'yeah I know' expression as Warhammer kid

Goel Joelby: No man, FUCK the Dude. The Dude thinks he's better than us? Dude thinks he's an actual Dude? Fuck that guy

Daniel Hopper: I think Dude's girlfriend left him and he didn't really want to go outside and now he's spending his friday with the people he shares a dorm with. She left him 'cause he's a cunt of course. No sympathy here

Goel Joelby: I have a theory, okay, I'm going to blow some minds here

Daniel Hopper: Shoot

Goel Joelby: I think Mailman and the Bird have like, flown over to Cyprus specifically to have an Unreal LAN party with these guys

Daniel Hopper: Man, that's just sad. Cyprus is beautiful and the thought of shut ins living there toiling away on WoW constantly depresses me

Goel Joelby: The _rug crew are his only friends at Sussex University

Daniel Hopper: Pick a better name than _rug for fucks sake. Wolverines, Tunnel Snakes, The Bad Dudes, The Jokesters, literally anything

Paul Hardy: Yeah, lets judge an Unreal clan for picking a shitty name. Not every name can be Clan Nightwolf

Goel Joelby: "Uh, _rug stands for REAL UNDERGROUND so uh FUCK YOU"

Daniel Hopper: RAD UNDERGROUND GRADSTUDENTS

Goel Joelby: They have definitely kicked guys out for not having a Masters

Daniel Hopper: When mechanical engineering grad students party.jpeg

Paul Hardy: You guys are missing the point. These 6 have a kinship that will last eternal, a friendship that will never end, a bond that cannot be broken

Goel Joelby: No YOU are missing the point. The point is _rug/Ripper killed a girl. Just fuckin' look at him

Paul Hardy: M-M-M-M-MONSTER KILL he muttered to himself after finishing her off

Daniel Hopper: After his 4th victim he whispered 'Killtacualer'

Paul Hardy: When he hit double figures "FRENZY!"

Daniel Hopper: A room full of men who shout 'Boom Headshot' every time they ejaculate

Goel Joelby: Mailman hasn't figured out how to ejaculate yet

Daniel Hopper: He may in fact be a eunuch

Goel Joelby: "A PhD in Biology has taught me NOTHING"

Paul Hardy: I want to throw Mailman into a locker. I don't know where this has come from, but i can't help it

Goel Joelby: If we had to nominate one of these nerds to beat up I wanna beat up Dude. G-orgy seems a cool guy. Just look at dem eyebrows. Pantera just likes Pantera, man. Bird had a bad divorce and would probably beat me right back and Ripper actually kills women

Goel Joelby: Bird has one of those forky little chin beards so actually yeah I'd like to kick him in the balls

Daniel Hopper: Ripper clearly walks up to people at parties and starts conversations by saying 'Let me tell you how I got my scars'

Goel Joelby: WRONG Ripper has never been to any party other than this one

Daniel Hopper: Does that thing count as a party?

Paul Hardy: It is a LAN Party so I guess technically it is?

Daniel Hopper: I want to think that _rugs is a dude and he took the photo and he's just so happy everyone showed up

Goel Joelby: "I thought you guys wouldn't show! I thought I brought the patio furniture in for nothing!"

Paul Hardy: I fucking hate Mailman! JUST LOOK AT HIS FACE!

Daniel Hopper: Leave him be dude, you're just jealous cos he's happy




Goel Joelby: One of these guys died that weekend

Paul Hardy: This picture would make a much better ending to the Blair Witch Project

Paul Hardy: The two on the right seem to be making a hand gesture but the one on the left looks like he's carressing himself

Goel Joelby: The guy in the middle isn't quite down with the gesture. He's like 'Is this racist? Does it mean something racist?'

Goel Joelby: What the fuck does it mean, by the way? Is it racist?

Paul Hardy: I always thought the crossing of the arms like that was to show you are straight edge

Goel Joelby: Man these guys saying they are straight edge is like them saying they are virgins by choice. Nobody is going to offer them drugs or invite them to cool parties. That's why they're out in the woods on a Friday just chilling with Ian Thorpe and Zlatan Ibrahimovic's retarded love child

Paul Hardy: The guy in the middle moderates wikipedia. Look at him and tell me otherwise

Goel Joelby: He has a clear case of wikipedia withdrawl "I can sense vandalism"

Paul Hardy: Maybe thats why he's looking so unsure? "Guys, another mile and then I have to check my articles!"

Goel Joelby: I bet the guy says 'citation needed' during actual conversations."I heard there's a party in the woods next week! All the cool kids are going!" "Citation needed!"

Paul Hardy: I think maybe he says "Citation Needed" as a sarcastic put down to people

Daniel Hopper: 'Hey, I heard that the people of Palestine might one day return home' 'Pft! Citation needed, Dave' 'Fuck you Phil'

Goel Joelby: I just realised this file is called LARP_duchy1.jpg. What the fuck are they LARPing as? Hey guys let's LARP as friendless nerds!

Daniel Hopper: War dudes. They larp as war dudes

Goel Joelby: CITATION NEEDED

Goel Joelby: The guy in the combats is going to go home and work on his epic zombie_invasion_plan.txt

Paul Hardy: Why does the wikipedia editor have a stick? It's too small to be a walking stick, so I dont know what the deal is

Goel Joelby: 'IT'S NOT A STICK IT'S A STAFF UGH"

Paul Hardy: ITS A MAGICAL STAFF OF POWER +3, DAD! URGH! His dad replies with "citation needed" and he storms off into his room

Daniel Hopper: 'Magick staff conjure away my virginity' SPELL FAILED




Paul Hardy: Oh man, that is so racist

Goel Joelby: Okay, you know what, fuck this shit. Fuck you, humanity

Daniel Hopper: The first thing that strikes you is 'Whoa what is this?' but then you look at the guy on the left and think 'Why didn't you put in as much effort as your friends?' YOU LET THE TEAM DOWN MAN!'

Goel Joelby: The guy on the right is completely trying to figure out whether the cat in the middle is a dude or not so he can try and fuck it

Paul Hardy: The cat is a dude, the one on the right is a girl I THINK

Daniel Hopper: I like that the cat man in the middle didn't even bother to shave his beard. If you look you can kind of make it out under the make up

Paul Hardy: The guy clearly can't be a cat, since at least cats wash themselves

Goel Joelby: Cats cover their shit up rather than clog the toilet with TP and wait for their Mum to come home and flush it

Daniel Hopper: Guy on the left is totally pissed 'cause the other two told him they weren't gonna put much effort into their costumes. Then surprise surprise! Larpday Thrusday rolls around and here they are!

Goel Joelby: The guy on the left is annoying me, now. Like what did he even come as? What is he?

Paul Hardy: It looks like he was unsure what was going to happen so he mixed about 3 costume together and called it a day

Daniel Hopper: Ok, I'm Indianna Jones but I've been transported to the land of Middle Earth

Goel Joelby: He was like "I gotta pick up my kids later I only get them every second Saturday. Linda won't let me have them if I turn up dressed as a lion"

Daniel Hopper: Linda meet my new girlfriend, Mysterious Black Face Lady and her asexual life partner, Lion Man

Goel Joelby: I bet Lion-o like crazy gets into character and starts trying to lick everyone clean when he's in Lion-mode, all mewling and rubbing his dirty head on people's legs

Daniel Hopper: They show this photo to Al-Qaeda trainees just to really help brew up a hatred of the west

Goel Joelby: I think I could get behind their cause, then

Paul Hardy: Awww fuck, the girl on the right is meant to be a drow

Daniel Hopper: Hahaha you fucking nerd!

Goel Joelby: I had to Google what a drow is. Fuck you for making me do that

Paul Hardy: ITS A RACE OF EVIL ELVES, OK!?

Goel Joelby: Now my computer will be on a list /MI5/PERSONAL_COMPUTERS/NERDS

Daniel Hopper: You can't take your laptop to get fixed at PC World anymore

Paul Hardy: Pete Townsend didnt have child porn on his computer, but several chat logs with me taking about drow

Goel Joelby: Wait, what are a drow, a fucking lion dude and gay 16th century Indiana Jones doing together? Is this a sitcom?

Daniel Hopper: WELCOME TO THE INTERNET!

Goel Joelby: 'The Clan,' coming to E4 in September! Like The Big Bang Theory but worse, if that is a possible thing!

Daniel Hopper: 'Drow, I hate these guys...' 16th century Indie

Paul Hardy: "Fat Dudes dressed as lions...why does it always have to be Fat Dudes dressed as lions!?"